It's Always Been You
by bipabrena
Summary: Bertholdt and Reiner. Two best friends who are in love with each other, unaware of each other's feelings, and their actions, as a response to what they believe is an unrequited love, lead them to hurt and distance themselves from the other. One fight is the decisive trigger that will change the course of their lives, plus that of an extra party. Titan Trio Centered
1. The Bar

"Hey, Bert" Reiner nudged Bertholdt on his ribcage. "There's a piano over there, how about you start playing some music? You could really impress Annie".

Bertholdt's eyes widened and his cheeks started burning from the comment alone. He felt a twinge of disappointment in his chest. " _If only you knew the one I'd want to impress is you_ ". Bertholdt had no idea what Reiner was thinking. Why did he always insist on saying he was into Annie? Was he just messing with him? Did he usually do something that made it seem as though he liked Annie? He considered her a close friend, and he worried about her. She was coolheaded, "emotionless", and independent, but Bertholdt knew there was more to her. He just worried, that's all, but how is that supposed to mean he likes her romantically? He thought hard about this every time Reiner mentioned her, but he couldn't find an answer. He wishes he could clarify he doesn't feel anything romantic towards her, but he knew Reiner wouldn't be satisfied with that answer. " _Well, who do you like, then_?" Reiner would most likely ask. Bertholdt could easily respond " _no one_ ", but he'd be lying, and Reiner would notice instantly. In the end, he was too much of a coward to even think about telling Reiner the truth. " _It's you. It's always been you_ ".

Reiner noticed his friend space out, he usually did so whenever he mentioned Annie. He really must like her, eh? The mention of her name alone is enough to make Bertholdt get lost in his little world. Annie was great. In fact, she was one of Reiner's closest friends, and he knew she reciprocated the feeling but was too cold and prideful to admit it. But he still didn't get it—why was Bertholdt so crazy about her? They're antithesis at its finest.

Sure, social norms, and even science, dictate "opposites attract", but Bertholdt and Annie take it to another level. Bertholdt is extremely gentle and needy, he requires a lot of attention and affection. Annie would never be able to give him that—she's too autonomous, too independent. Some of his relationships in the past ended because he couldn't get this, but he moved on.

So why was Annie the exception? Why did he still like her and refused to move on? This thought fried Reiner's brain. It frustrated him to the core and he wanted to convince himself, no, he **_needed_** to convince himself that it was just him worrying about his best friend. But deep down he knew the truth, and it's a truth he didn't want to acknowledge **.**

 **It made him jealous**. It made him so jealous that overthinking it made him nauseous, and at times, shake. He hated this. He despised the fact that while he stared at him, appreciating every feature, every expression on that beautiful boy; while he was thinking about him at night and fantasising about them, Bertholdt was doing the same but with Annie. It turned his stomach, he couldn't bear it. He just-

"You guys! Over here" Mikasa's voice interrupted his thoughts. She was pointing at their large booth near the bar, where Annie, Armin, Krista, Eren, Sasha and Belanor were sitting—waiting for their drinks. " _Boilermaker!_ " Eren said prior to coming here. " _It's one of the manliest drinks out there_ ". Reiner couldn't help but smile at Eren's strange childishness. No, he didn't have a kid's innocence, and he sure as hell didn't do things any sane child would, but he still reminded him, in some way, of a little kid. Was it his enthusiasm? His obliviousness? After all, Eren was the type of guy who had a respectable number of girls who crushed on him, but was too dumb to notice it.

Sometimes he wondered if Eren was gay or asexual. Not that there's anything wrong with either, he was just curious. Reiner disrupted his thoughts to make his way over to his friends. He noticed Bertholdt was still spaced out, thinking about who knows what. Probably about Annie, rehearsing in his head what he's going to say to her, or how good she looks. Here comes the nausea again…

Reiner placed his hand on Bertholdt's shoulder "What are you waiting for? Let's go already!". Bertholdt slightly jumped at the action, not expecting it and due to being interrupted from his wandering mind. "Y-yeah".

They approached the booth, Reiner leaned on the bar's counter with poise to order a different drink, and Bertholdt took in the scenario. Eren could barely contain his excitement over his boilermaker, swinging Armin back and forth, demanding him to snap a picture of him holding his drink. Sasha and Krista were gossiping, while the former stuffed her mouth with peanuts. And Mikasa… Oh. Mikasa.

She looked… strangely incredible. She looked radiant, beautiful… and… happy? Mikasa was known to be like Annie in the sense she usually bore a stone face. Until recently, that had been changing little by little. It's not as though Mikasa was a Sasha or Krista-kind-of-happy right now, but to someone observant it was clear she was different. Ever since she got together with Belanor, something in her has changed.

Bertholdt was happy about this. She was so obsessed with being around Eren at all times that he thought she'd never be able to be with someone. Eren supposedly saved her life (though nobody knows the details except for the two of them, and maybe Armin), so her feeling indebted to him was understandable, but it still seemed like a little too much. Now it appears her mind is expanding, and her life doesn't revolve around Eren alone.

Krista's laugh snapped him out of his thoughts, and the sight of what caused it made his heart wrench. Reiner was whispering things in her ear, and she was clinging to his arm while genuinely laughing, and Reiner couldn't help but smile and laugh back.

He felt so out of place right now. Not only was everyone having fun, but he was the only one standing, doing nothing at all. Everyone else was seated, and nobody seemed to notice he didn't have a spot. Reiner didn't even bother on asking what he wanted to drink, or tell him to sit when he came back with his drink.

Yes, the music was somewhat loud, everyone's drinking and conversing, but was his presence really so weak that no one noticed him? That no one thought about saying " _Oh, Bertl, you should have asked me to move!_ " or " _Here, let me scoot over so you can have a seat!"_. He was sure he could leave right now and no one would notice—not even Reiner. He had to bite his lower lip to hold back tears that were threatening to form.

He felt someone behind him grab his arm, and turning his head to see the responsible person, his eyes widened at the sight. It was a blonde beauty fashioning medium length straight hair, wearing a black and white crop shirt, a black skirt with red lines and medium black heels. It was Annie.

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. It's the first time he's ever seen Annie so… chic. She looked incredible. Why didn't she dress like this more often? She didn't look bad wearing her usual hoodies and jeans, with her hair tied in a ponytail. But wearing her hair down, straightened, with slight make up on and revealing clothing, looking sexy yet elegant at the same time? And people say Krista is angelic!

He didn't question this further and simply enjoyed the sight. Annie blushed and looked down, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. That's when Bertholdt realised he hadn't said anything. "A-Annie. You look—" "You can have my seat" Annie interrupted.

"W-what?" _Stop stuttering, you idiot. This is why no one likes you_.

"I'm going to leave. You can have it" Bertholdt was surprised to hear this.

"What do you mean? It hasn't even been an hour."

"It doesn't matter. This is too crowded… and I don't really have a reason to stay anymore". Her eyes still wandered down, but Bertholdt noticed they were looking at someone from the corner of her eye.

That must be it, she's like this to impress someone and they're not paying attention, isn't she? But whom? Oh my God. She's offering her seat. She's the only person on this booth out of seven people that noticed him and was thoughtful enough to offer a seat. Not only this, but Bertholdt totally didn't notice her, so could it be him? Could she have been trying to impress him?

She quickly glanced to her right and switched her sights to the bar. Bertholdt looked at the direction she glanced and immediately understood. It was Eren, playing a game on his phone while waiting for Armin to come back from the bathroom. Really? She's trying to impress Eren?

Of course she is. Why would he even be stupid enough to think she'd be trying to impress **_him_**? Not even his best friend noticed him right now, so why would she? (Wait, didn't he just say she's the only one who noticed him? He's not even making any sense right now!) She's probably just trying to say " _Here, take my seat you sad loser, you look ridiculous standing around, so sit your ass down_ ".

Annie just held her left arm shyly and started walking away, Bertholdt noticing a couple of seconds later. He spaced out again, didn't he? She probably said something and he didn't even listen. This is why no one cares about him. He's so out of reality, why would anyone waste their time with him?

He ran after Annie and grabbed her arm, making her look back at him. Now they were far enough from the large booth to not hear their friends' conversations.

"A-Annie, don't leave. I don't know what you mean with not having a reason to stay, but don't go".

Annie pulled her arm back. "I'm not comfortable in this place, there's no—"

Bertholdt grabbed her arm again, and with a polite but shy smile interrupted her. "Come on, you really put some effort in your clothing and make up tonight, don't let that go to waste."

As soon as he realised what he said his cheeks flared up, scared that Annie might get mad. She didn't. She ignored the remark and blushed.

"What surprises me is the fact you're still here, given how you were standing around looking at everyone like a lost puppy".

Bertholdt blushed even harder, and started screaming internally. " _She noticed! I knew she was offering her seat out of pity. Oh Bertholdt, woe is you!"._

He rubbed the back of his neck, breaking eye contact. "W-well… honestly, I feel really awkward too… like I don't fit in, even though we're all friends, you know?".

Annie's gaze softened and noticed Bertholdt was still holding her arm. She gently let go. "I guess that makes two of us".

The next thing that came out of Bertholdt's mouth took a lot of courage to say. He felt a drop of sweat starting to form and his heart was racing, because he usually didn't ask things like these without thoroughly rehearsing them in his head. Yeah, he was that awkward.

"W-well… w-we can do our own thing… y-you know?" Annie couldn't help but try to hold back a laugh over Bertholdt's stuttering.

"You're like a baby that's learning to speak." Bertholdt regretted saying anything and was thinking of an excuse to leave. Should he evacuate by saying he needs to go to the bathroom!? Should he pretend he's ill!? What should he do!? Annie must have noticed the panic on his face, because her next move caught him off guard, starting with her rare-but-oh-so-cute-laugh.

"Sorry, that was mean", she said as she nudged his shoulder. The intention of it was entirely innocent, it was meant to be a playful and/or friendly move, but to a certain onlooker, it seemed like something else.

"What were you going to suggest?" Bertholdt just smiled at her question and, with a bit of effort, made eye contact.

"I-I was thinking we could get some drinks and just chat outside. We could even walk around, not here, I don't know…".

"I don't like alcohol".

"Y-yeah, me neither… but I didn't say they had to be alcoholic drinks… r-right? Doesn't have to be here"

Annie couldn't help but slightly smile. "I guess. It's not like I have anything better to do anyway. But on one condition."

Bertholdt perked up. "Huh?".

"You pay".

Bertholdt let out a genuine laugh. "I guess that's the price I must pay to hang out with you.". Annie looked at him smugly

"You better consider yourself lucky".

This is strange, he couldn't remember the last time he had such a smooth interaction with Annie. He actually felt… really comfortable. And he could sense she felt the same.

"I guess I have to. W-well… where are my manners? After you" He moved aside and extended his arm to pave way for her. Annie walked past him and he followed. This was nice. She didn't expect to hang out with Bertholdt tonight, but I guess unexpected things can be nice too.

Bertholdt and Annie were starting to feel comfortable now—their night was beginning to look promising. But unbeknownst to them, a certain onlooker's took the opposite turn over their short interaction. If Reiner got jealous just from thinking about Bertholdt liking Annie, now he was furious to the core. He left with her? And without saying goodbye? Just what are these two up to? It couldn't be, but from what he saw and how relaxed Annie was, he just knew. She likes him back, doesn't she? He could feel himself tense up. His night was ruined now.


	2. Of Coffee and Anime

Annie wouldn't normally do something like this. However, this night hasn't been normal to begin with. If anything, it's been very out of the ordinary. Krista and Sasha weren't going to be home for the remainder of the night, and Ymir was on a roadtrip. She had the house all for herself, and Bertholdt would be alone too if he went home, so why not pay back his kindness and let him in?

"Would you like to come in?"

Bertholdt was surprised. It's been some time since Annie invited him in while it was just the two of them. They do hang out frequently, but not in her house, and very rarely while all alone. Usually they'd be accompanied by an extra party or two, mostly Reiner.

"Are you sure you don't… mind?"

Annie moved a strand of hair behind her ear, expression as bland as ever.

"Of course."

"T-then yeah, I'd like to"

Annie slid the keys in the door and opened it. She turned the lights on and Bertholdt followed.

"Oi, Annie" Bertholdt asked "is it okay if I take my shoes off?"

Annie didn't look at him while she placed the keys on the dining table.

"Huh? You always ask the same and I always answer the same. Go ahead"

Bertholdt took his shoes off and, with much liberty, sat down comfortably on the couch. He noticed Annie modestly crouch as to not reveal anything, given how she was wearing a short skirt and all, to take her heels off. He blushed furiously at the sight, looking down at his feet and basically anywhere else but her to not feel like a pervert.

"You want something to drink?" Annie asked as she got back up.

He mustered enough courage to look at her. "After all that food and walk, I could use some coffee… I can make it myself, though"

"Okay. Serve me a cup too, then. Two teaspoons of sugar" Annie finally looked at him. "I'll be right back. Turn on the A/C if you want"

"O-okay".

Annie took off upstairs, and Bertholdt was left behind, somewhat nervous. This felt weird. It is true that the two of them hung out a lot—after all, they were childhood friends. They share a lot of history, some of it intimate, but both are very introverted, so nobody knew. And yet, this feels different. Annie is being different. He can think about this later, though. For the time being, he's just going to enjoy himself.

Bertholdt sighed and grabbed the remote to turn the TV on. It's Sunday and it's almost midnight, perhaps they could watch The Walking Dead? They usually repeat the weekly episode at this time. His thoughts diverted and recalled how Annie said Krista and Sasha would be out all night. Krista. Reiner would be doing the same. Seeing Krista cling to his arm, laughing… him whispering things in her ear. He brought his knees to his chest and wrapped them with his arms. He didn't want to think about possible events, it would deeply wound him.

In a way, he felt happy because he was hanging out with Annie. Sure, it wasn't as exciting as it was with Reiner, but Annie had this very soothing presence that made him feel at ease. Most people found her presence intimidating, and while it could be, he generally found it relaxing. They were more alike than they thought, so it's natural that they both felt so comfortable with each other, even though Annie wouldn't admit it. But there was still this feeling of despair, of not knowing what Reiner was doing right now and with whom. Krista is the most probable choice, but what if there's someone else? What if tomorrow morning when they see each other again he tells him about the spicy night he had with someone? At least Annie doesn't have to worry about that with Eren, since the kid is as oblivious as ever, and simply isn't into that kind of thing.

He heard footsteps coming down the stairs and he got up as fast as he could. He forgot to make the coffee! Why does he always space out so much? No wonder "idiot" was Annie's favourite word to use on Bertholdt. He ran as fast as he could to the kitchen, grabbing two mugs from the kitchen cabin and served the coffee. He placed both mugs in the microwave, on a countdown of two minutes.

"So, what do you want to do?" Annie asked

Bertholdt turned back to look at her. Naturally, her hair was now in a messy bun and she was wearing a baggy Dragon Ball Z shirt with pajama pants. That, plus her miniscule height, made her look absolutely adorable, even with that dull expression of hers.

"I was thinking we could watch The Walking Dead. It's almost midnight and they're going to repeat the episode.'

As she listened, Annie grabbed a stool and placed it in front of the cabinet. She got on it to reach her favourite cookies, but still had trouble finding them, since they were buried among Dorito and Cheeto bags. She'd stand on the counter if it weren't for the fact the coffee machine was in the way. Bertholdt jolted.

"A-Annie! That's dangerous!" He ran to her and with ease drew out all the packets in the cabin. "What are you looking for?"

She dully looked at him. "I do this all the time. It's not dangerous, and I didn't need your help" she found the glorious snack she was looking for, grabbed it and placed the stool back in its place.

"I was just—"

The microwave beeped.

"I don't really want to watch The Walking Dead. I haven't caught up and it's the midseason finale, I'll just get spoiled." Bertholdt felt dumb for suggesting it.

"Is Hunter x Hunter okay?" she offered instead.

"S-sure! I left off on the episode where Kurapika meets Hisoka"

Annie smiled, though barely. "A fine episode" She opened the bag of cookies and gracefully placed one in her mouth. "Grab whatever you want to eat. And hurry up with the coffee, will you?"

"Y-yes! Sorry"

Annie chuckled and plopped on the couch. "I'll never get over that pointless habit of yours"

Bertholdt turned his head to look at her while he grabbed the cream to add to the coffee. "Which one?" He started stirring.

"The one where you apologise for everything"

"Oh. I… sorry"

"Stop. You're lame"

"R-right." He grabbed both mugs and sat down next to Annie. She took hers and sipped, letting out a satisfied sigh. They were both comfortable, at a reasonable distance yet close enough to feel each other's warmth. Bertholdt found the episode and played it. A recap of the last episode was shown, then the opening. Instead of skipping it, Annie decided to break the silence.

"Bertholdt"

"Hm?"

"Is Nen possible or realistic?"

Bertholdt was a pretty smart guy. Quite nerdy, if you will. He enjoyed applying science to ponder if certain fictional things could be real, such as Godzilla or the conundrum that is magic. Because of it, it wasn't a surprise Annie would ask him something like this.

"Well, some studies have proven aura is real. With highly sensitive cameras, you can capture a person's natural glow, meaning that you and I have aura, just like everyone else"

Annie looked at him intently.

"Honestly… it's an incredible topic with so much study material that I could ramble about for hours" he looked at the ceiling, with a small smile and somewhat inspired. Annie was still staring, and rather than realising she was immersed in what he was saying, and curious about what he was going to say next, he assumed she was saying " _get to the point_ ". He watched the opening, resisting the urge to sing along.

"But Nen is different. I mean, Nen is defined as the technique utilised to manipulate our aura at will, and it is true that we generate energy and radiate heat, which is probably how Togashi came up with the idea of Nen. However, using our energy to scare off others, or get super strong, even create cool powers like Machi's Nen stitches… no"

Annie's expression remained the same, but someone observant like Bertholdt could easily notice there was a soft tone to it. She smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile back.

"I like Nen because it's intelligent". She looked back at the screen, the opening almost over. Bertholdt didn't look away from her.

"It's so cleverly written. Togashi is such a smart writer, I wish I could create something like that."

"Right? How did he even come up with the idea of sewing people's arms with stitches made from life energy? Dude is crazy"

Annie looked at him. "If you think Machi's power is something, wait until you get to the Chimera Ant arc and see Pitou's." Bertholdt's eyes widened.

"A-Annie! No spoilers!"

She covered her mouth with her hand and laughed. "Okay, okay. The opening's over. Don't talk or I'll spoil the whole show"

Bertholdt boldly stole one of her cookies and dipped it in his coffee. Right now, he was happy. He was enjoying himself, and he would have it no other way. He can't imagine how uncomfortable he would be in that hot, sweaty bar, with loud music and alcoholic drinks everywhere. Little did he know, Annie was happy as well. She enjoyed Bertholdt's company, and though they very rarely hung out alone, when they did, it was special.

At this moment, Reiner completely disappeared from Bertholdt's mind, and Eren from Annie's.


End file.
